


Collateral Damage

by Tortured_rebelAngel



Series: Gospel's Torn Pages [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Cute Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Love, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealousy, Manipulation, Multi, Possessive Behavior, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Build, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:29:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2130246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortured_rebelAngel/pseuds/Tortured_rebelAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck had pages that were never put into the books. He had to tear them out, he just didn't see relevance in it or it seemed unnecessary to bring up. Returning from Hell was not easy, for any of them. Dean and Castiel, on two separate realms are able to find such a close connection. Even though lies, mistrust, The Apocalypse, Heaven and Hell. Tends to become more and more friction between the two Winchesters...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Establishing First Love

**Author's Note:**

> Happy beggening, slow build and slow updates

* * *

If Dean walks into the room, Cas would jump into his arms. They shared laughs, giggles, kisses, and if Cas was lucky; cuddling. Dean is the only one who could make Cas smile the way does around Dean. Big, full of life, worry free smile... Sam mocks and teases slightly at them, saying they're teens in love.

Dean had come out of the blood stained flannel wearing, angel kissin, closet... Well he was pushed out. Sam, poor unfortunate Sam, walked in on them about week ago.

* * *

Sam had been researching a werewolf case in Bobby's library, when Bobby went to get more beer, food, and whatever else they needed. Cas and Dean slipped off somewhere in the house, leaving Sam to do everything. He was fed up by now, they've been doing this way to often, more than usual lately. He walked up stairs, down the hallway, hearing them. It didn't sound like words, if it was morphed and muffled broken sentences. He followed the noise to the closed door to the guest room, Dean was making most of the noises. He could hear Dean begging, pleading even, he sounded like he was dying almost.

That was not the case, when he broke into the room thinking Cas and Dean have been fighting again. He froze and stared at the two, two of them were also frozen looking back at Sam. Dean was shirtless, jeans pulled down to his lower hips, messing hair, red marks along his chest and neck. Castiel was a half buttoned shirt, loose tie, messy -er hair, swollen lips.

'My God, why am I taking note of what they look like? Leave Sam! LEAVE! SAMM!' Sam's head roared and screamed at him, but he just stood there deadpanned.

"Sammy. Get. The. Fuck. Out." Dean spoke in low harsh tone, it made Sam flinch at it, he ran off in a second flat. Running to Ruby, he wanted her, he wanted her blood, seeing that took a lot out of him.

"Sammy what's the matter? Dean die again?" She asked mockingly at the scared Sam before her.

"Worse."

"Worse? Dean go to Hell again?"

Sam shuffled. "Worse, Ruby, worse."

"What could be worse?"

"Walking in on him... doing stuff."

"Dean is a slut, he has sex."

"It wasn't about the sex, it-"

"masturbation?"

"No! Ruby, it was who it was with..."

"Who?"

"Do you think Dean is you know, gay?"

She started laughing, and seriously couldn't stop. Sam started pouting and she heaved.

"No, I don't. We're not on each other's Christmas cards list, but I for one can vouch he isn't gay-"

"BUT I SAW HIM WITH CASTIEL!"

"I didn't say he doesn't like guys, that's obvious he does. I'm not saying he's gay though, likes women too much for that."

"I had no idea he was remotely into guys, and it was clear to you?"

"It's clear to everyone, just not you though. He's a bisexual, like me. But seriously how did you not know? He would've told you eventually, or you'd figure it out before now." Ruby said, Sam shrugged. "You're Dad was homophobic wasn't he?"

"Dad was an asshole, jerk, and I'm sure he wouldn't care if Dean was into guys, but probably be all disapproving and disappointed though... You think Dean was hiding his, his, his..."

"Sexuality, go on."

Sam cringed when he said 'Sexuality' "...His sexuality, he's been hiding it because of Dad?"

"Bingo give the boy a prize! But in all honesty are you homophobic Sam? I mean you cringe on the thought."

"No I'm not, I swear it! at Stanford I walked in PRIDE with Jes-, that's besides the point. I'm not homophobic, I just don't see Dean really seeing guys as he sees girls. I mean I lived in the same room with him all my life, and I've never got the hint he was. I'm cringing the fact I didn't know and now that I do, Dean will go into detail of his latest conquers...Starting with Cas."

"Well Sam, your sexuality doesn't change your personality, I'm sure he will."

"Ruby I need it..." He added and she nodded.

* * *

Sam got back told Bobby the situation, Bobby laughed and called him an id'jit. "How did you not know?" Bobby laughed.

"He didn't tell me."

"He didn't tell me, but I knew. Hell John knew, why'd you think he was more aggressive towards Dean. Man I've patched up your brother more times from the harm of your father's hand, than hunts."

"I didn't know, why am I just finding this out now! You guys should've told me! Dean's being selfish!" Sam yelled at Bobby.

"Now you don't raise your voice with me boy, if it was life or death we'd tell ya'. If Dean wanted you to know, you'd know. You boys both act selfish, believe it or not? What you're just as mean Sam, need to know everything, you hold grudges. Dean holds all that in, protects you, hell protects me, kid never puts himself first. Yeah he bitches, about you and the job, you bitch about him and your life. You got your secrets and he's got his. Yeah it's not a really important secret, but it still didn't mean you HAD you know. He's not an idiot like you and himself think, he knows what's going on. After feathers left in a hurry, Dean asked if he could work on the cars, because he knows you're going to confront him. He knows, I've known about his orientation for years, but should've seen how red he was, embarrassed is an understatement. Poor kid, he's probably living through that day again- you know what he'd tell you, you'll figure out why he didn't tell you. And Sam don't push it, he's edgy. In my opinion, you're both overreacting."

"I will Bobby, I won't push, but how edgy?"

"He said he wanted to crash him and the Impala into a brick wall. Edgy enough?"

"That is edgy..." Sam said walking out to the junk yards. Dean was under a blue 68' Camaro, with a mixed tape of Ozzy, Metallica, and Floyd. "Hey Dean..."

"Is it time for my trial? I mean execution." Dean half assed joked sliding from under, hands covered in oil. Sam could tell when Dean stood up and getting a good look at his face. Bobby was right, Dean was embarrassed.

"If that's what you call it," Sam said with a sigh. He knew Dean was not going to take it seriously, when Dean's put in these situations he tries to joke his way out.

"Well I refuse to call it an intervention, I mean are you going to hand me tissues? Get like Jo and Ellen on the phone telling me things from Dr. Phil and Oprah. Have you tell me nice things blah blah, I lay my head upon your shoulder and slowly cry? Force me to wear rainbows! And glitter! Go to some queer con, give me sex ed?"

"Dean you watch too much TV for the lack of time that we ever do have, and second shut the fuck up, get in the house before I drag you. I'm not pushing you, I'm just taking any of your shit." Sam hissed, and Dean reluctantly followed.

He sat Dean down at the table with a 5th of Whiskey, confronting Dean about this, they're both going to drink. Sam poured the first round of shots, Dean took his a little too eagerly.

"Dean I know what I saw," Sam started slowly.

"No you saw what you think you saw, trust me there's a difference."

"Okay what do you think I saw?"

"Me and Cas having sex," Dean said pouring another shot but not taking it yet.

"That is what I saw, Dean I saw it. I can't forget the scene, god."

"Ha, you're thinking about it. _Pervert_." Dean took the shot. "We weren't having sex, we haven't either."

"So you guys just stumbled upstairs into the guest room, with clothes disappearing? Oh and the marks on your chest," Sam took his first shot.

"Sam like I said we weren't having sex, we never have. I'm telling you the truth. If Cas didn't fucking ditch me he'd tell you too."

"He'd be lying to most likely."

Dean threw his head back and rubbed his face. "If I tell you like everything, will we never discuss this again or mention it?"

"Yeah, fine. Tell me why you and Cas were having sex?"

"We weren't! And we weren't going to. Cas is a virgin still, I'm not sleeping with him until he wants me to, and when he's ready, GREAT! But until then no sex between me and him."

"Have, have you um- had sex with guys?"

"Yeah, mostly girls, but I've slept with guys."

"Wow, I just can't believe it."

"Why?" Looked little hurt, 'Wow Sam do you even know me' Dean thought.

"I mean, you, Mr. Womanizer! Muscle cars, rock, hunter."

"Sam are you serious? You're more gay than me, you should know that doesn't matter. Also if I like guys I have to like girly things, wrong. Do I really look like a guy who gets fucked? Or a guy who fucks?"

Sam pursed his lips. "Anything else Sam?" Dean smirked.

"Dad, how dad did find out?" Sam asked, Dean's smirk was wiped completely off.

"That was along time ago Sam," Dean said taking more drinks.

"Please Dean..."

"I knew Dad would be pissed if he found out, Sam I was like 16 when I got caught. You weren't in high school yet, when the current school I was at started a rumor I was a faggot. You know chicks, can be real fucking bitches, I knew we were leaving soon so I broke it off with this girl, she went around screaming I broke up with her because I was in closet. High school spreads rumours faster than wildfire, next thing I knew I was fight every second until Dad got back from the hunt. Well he extended when he was going to get us, which really sucked because after they realize I could kick everyone's ass there, I was tempted on just ditching, but dad would flip if he got a phone call I wasn't there. Well being the only guy who everyone thought was gay, which was kinda funny in it's own way because I did like guys, I just prefer girls." Dean probably needed about 10 shots, but still needed more to continue this story.

"So Dad wasn't going to get us for another 3 weeks, and things started to just get weird at school."

"What do you mean weird? Demons, ghost weird? Or What the hell weird?"

"More of a what the fuck is going on? Apparently I wasn't the only one who was outed, couple days later a guy on the baseball the team was also accused by his ex, which was the same chick. But this time he actually just told her he was using her to prove a point, which was that she is a fucking liar who starts shit. And well this prolog story is getting too long. Long story short, we joined forces, made out a bit, then made out a lot. Then I got sloppy... And well dad got back a day early, you were at that school thing. Dad came in to see two fully naked teen boys under sheets, dude left pretty quick and Dad beat me pretty quick. Beat the fag out of me, only girls should like boys, boys should only like girls. Didn't matter how many time I got caught with chicks, Dad knew I'd still like guys. He looked at me differently after that, I mean before with the shtriga incident. Him being so disappointed in me, was the worst punishment ever. He said you can't find out 'I'd influence you' So I guess after dad died, it just stuck."

"You just made me remember how much I hated him," Sam said looking down at the table.

"Don't go saying that, dad was an obsessed bastard, he couldn't help it."

"Dean can I ask you one more question?"

"Sure," Dean said looking at the almost empty bottle.

"Are you dating Cas?" Sam looked at Dean, he noticed Dean was more remorse thinking about Cas than what happened in high school.

"No-"

"Dean you just make out with him!? Does Cas even understand open relationships? Dean you can't do that to him, that's cruel-"

"Oh my fucking god. Stop talking. It's not like that! I want us together, I don't know. No see it's not gonna fuckin' happen, it's final, it doesn't matter what I think okay? Or feel? If I didn't care, I would pursuit him to open up for me. That's if I didn't fucking, God, care so much." Dean's face was on the table, between his folded arms. "I want to fucking be with him, because I- I can't." Dean mumbled. "I don't want him to get hurt."

"Cas can handle his own, he's a god damn warrior of heaven. I don't think you have anything to worry about." Sam said, only receiving a 'hmm sure' from Dean he added. "You love him, don't you?" Sam said with a little too much excited smile.

"I don't know Sam, I mean we are on two different worlds. Barely have time to think of lov- that..." Dean sighed. "I hate you Sam."

"What? Why!?"

"You tricked me into a chick flick moment, I hate you." Dean stuck his tongue out at Sam, who just rolled his eyes out.

"You're going to tell Cas you want more, if he doesn't want you back, fuck him his fucking loss to see how great my big brother is." Sam said Dean rubbed his face.

" _Fine_..." Dean hummed, knowing this isn't gonna go away unless he tells Cas. His brother would pester him and Cas until one of them croaked, if he didn't tell Cas, Sam would know by asking Cas, then he'd keep at Dean's heels until he did so. "I'll do it after we finish up the case, sliver bullet to the heart, easy."

* * *

Getting back at 4 in the morning was rough, Dean got beaten pretty bad and had Sam bandage him up before he bled to death. Not very easy as Dean hoped, it never is. Another one showed up out of nowhere, tried to bite Sam, but Dean being the awesome brother he was, got in the way. He got clobbered, his weapon was across the room when the other one knocked it out of his hand, he saw Sam about to be jumped. Dean bare handed, attacked the guy, practically pushing Sam out of the way. He had minor cuts on his face and chest, while the worst scratches were the neck and shoulder. Ended up nursing his shoulder all the way back to Bobby's. Sam was surprised Dean didn't complain or bitch about, like usual. "Hurry fuck up with the goddamn first aid, I bleeding buckets."

Sam made a face. "Maybe if you weren't so suicidal reckless, you wouldn't be in this situation"

"OW! Fuck!" Dean bit his lip as Sam poured alcohol on Dean's cuts. "Yeah and let you be in my place? And let your ass get turned to puppy chow." Dean gave half-hearted laugh, hit closer than intended. It was quiet for a couple of minutes, only sounds were Dean gasps and low groans as his skin was getting sewn back together. "I never got a thanks, you know." Dean said a quiet murmur.

"I'm patching you up aren't I?" Sam said patching up the cuts on Dean's cheek and forehead. "You gonna call or take a shower first?"

"What? Call who now?"

"Cas. Confess your undying love for him," Sam mocked.

"I told you I don't know what I feel okay?" Dean said face slight pink.

"Yeah, well to bad you need someone like Cas in your life. I mean you never had a relationship dude, it's about time. You can't live off one night stands, I'm surprised you haven't caught something yet." Sam said with this such tone that Dean mocked and called him 'Dr. Phil.'

"Why are you so concerned with my relationships and not your own huh? You and that bitch seem to be up to no good, because God doesn't like what you're doing and I have no idea what you are doing, because you are keeping shit from me. So if you wanna tell me what is going on, I got my ears on."

"You know what? Fuck you Dean! I'm only trying to help you. And what me and Ruby are doing is finding Lilith, remember her? Yeah the one who killed you." Sam barked.

"Yeah well I'm top-side and kicking, apparently it's more than that, isn't it? Yeah because the only reason you're being secretive about it is because you know it's no good, and you are so fucking stubborn to admit it." Dean growled standing up, turning to shower on.

"You know I hope you die alone Dean!" Sam slammed the door on his way out, no way in doubt woke up Bobby and will lecture them later.

Getting in the shower careful with water pressure on his cuts, hitting himself for starting an argument with Sam for no reason. No for bringing up Cas, Cas and him. It was stupid, the thought of him and Cas made Dean feel light or feel like he got hit with a planet. Sam wants Dean to be happy, but if him and Cas become more, Cas could get hurt because of him. Nothing known so far to kill an angel, but Dean knows people who get close to the brothers get killed. The thought of this magnificent creature of God getting hurt because of him, Cas was already on the edge with Heaven for getting to close to him.

These thoughts rushed in his head as water poured down his back, his soft spikes of hair melt flatly on his head. Telling Cas wouldn't be too bad, I mean if he denies, which he will, will be more in Heaven's favor for backing away from me. Also he can't get hurt if they break whatever they have before it breaks into something more, before I'm throwing myself overboard for Cas. But I'm going to let him cut it off, I don't want this is to end... God I'm selfish... I want him to say yes. I want us to be together as a couple. It's selfish. It's selfish thinking about... him like that... and like this.

He reached between his legs tugging lazily at his dick, waking it with the pictures in his mind of what he's seen of Cas. Even though they've only gone as far as heavy petting, it leaves enough for the imagination and scandalous thrill for him. Now at full strokes, finding a pace. It started with soft mewl sounds then as it progressed worshipping Cas' name, as he stroked harder and faster. Leaning on one hand in the shower, couple more strokes then came down the drain with a shaking breath. Took a couple more breaths then finished showering, getting out not a minute later. Towel around his waist as he walked down stairs where his duffel was. Shocked to see Cas sitting patiently on the couch, with a stare out into the world expression.

“Hey asshole, thanks for ditching with Sam to have me answer everything that happened between us.” Dean said in a sarcastic tone, clear that Dean wasn't upset about it.

“What did you tell him?”

“I do know what I said all I know he’s on my back about- What are you even doing here?”

“You prayed to me.” Cas said flatly with Dean responding with pursed lips.

“Just know? When I was in the shower?” Dean replied with nonbelief of accidentally calling Cas, when he was just masturbating to the thought of Cas.

“Yes. You look confused, maybe a little bit fearful. What is it you wish to speak about?”

“Nothing.” Dean chirped awkwardly sliding by Cas, still hadn't gotten his clothes on yet.

“Nothing? Dean, I can’t be here every minute. I have to search out the seals and prevent them from breaking.” Cas replied with slight irritation, Dean wanted to reply with a quip about how bad of a job the angels are doing at that. “Dean you do have something on your mind, your hesitation is very clear.”

“Cas, ha. I- I can't right now.” Dean said slipping out of Cas’ view to change, coming back in flannel bottoms and well worn rock shirt.

“What is Dean I haven’t have all day, Uriel is being very persistent I come back very soon.”

“Screw Uriel, you're his supervisor, you tell him what to do. You have to hangout with your boyfriend for a bit right now.” The minute it rolled off Dean’s tongue he regretted it. “I mean friend who is a man, that you make out with on a occasion.” Said with horror written all over his face.

Cas looked at him confused and cupped Dean’s face and pulling him into a gentle kiss. “I suppose I can spare a few extra minutes with my boyfriend.”

“You know what a boyfriend is?”

“Of course, it means we're dating, am I correct?”

“Yeah, do you want to? I mean you don't have to because I want to, but it'd be awesome if you di-” Dean’s rambling was cut off by another kiss, then tingling throughout his body, sense of healing. The werewolf cuts were gone. Cas pulled Dean onto the couch nuzzling his neck, cooing into the crook of it. Whispering how he’s waited for Dean to make a move, or that he feeling like a bunch of lightning bolts and full of air. Like he was going to float away, but knew that was not probable. Dean giggled at that and the nipping by his ear, tickling him. It was sweet, it was innocent compared to what Dean was used to. He liked it, it was like Cas made him feel pure, not the dark thing he was truly, what he was in Hell. Cas made him feel like he was worth saving, not the washed up garbage the world had told him he was all his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [chronological timeline episode 7: It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester *aired Oct. 30th* Is about where Dean and Cas start getting closer with each other. 
> 
> The scene with Dean/Anna is valid and is in this timeline *Nov. 20th*, will be mentioned later in the story of how Dean and Cas first started their secret makeouts. Not wanting to spoil...
> 
> Before episode 11: Family Remains *aired Jan. 15* "Sam notices..." Which means about 2 months of secret make out sessions.
> 
> Current Time is a little off but it's around episode 12: Criss Angel Is a Douchebag *aired Jan. 22*]


	2. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is jealous of Cas, because of how Cas makes Dean feel, and thinks Dean is replacing him. Dean assures him, he isn't replacing him with with anyone.

Dean was carrying Cas on his back, Cas was clenched onto him with his chin tucked on Dean’s shoulder and neck crook. Kissing Dean, telling him sweet nothings that sends Dean plummeting towards love and devotion. He would bend over backwards to please Cas, not caring that Cas says he doesn’t need to do anything. He would give chocolates, flowers, even love letters, he didn’t care if it made him look cheesy and sappy. Cas admired Dean’s large smile of joy everytime he gave Cas something, it’s a sappy romance but neither cared except that they were happy. It was complicated though, It wasn’t perfect, It would never be, Dean was a hunter and Castiel was an angel. They are happy nonetheless, and didn’t see anything trying to take that away from them.

Sam walked into the living room the two being adorable little shits, caressing and playing with each others hands. Holding and cuddling on the couch, the giggles and whispering with ten mile radius smiles planted on them. He loved seeing Dean so happy, he knew he couldn't give Dean that, because obviously he's his brother. The playing and childish wondering Cas brings out of Dean is almost breath taking, he hadn’t seen Dean like that in years. Back when they played pranks on each other, but Dean was never like this, so full of affection and devotion… He saw Dean have hope. He's starting to think about if Dean has ever been in love before this, or acted remotely like this.

When Sam saw Dean and Cas together, he'd get a kick in his stomach, he's jealous and he admits it. It made him think of Jess, him and Jess used to be like that. The sweet nothings and full hearted attention for each others. The good old days back at Stanford, Jess and him would help each other on homework, cook together, did everything together. It was just him and her verses the world. He saw that in Dean and Cas, more so that most times Sam was mostly ignored or shrugged off. Dean didn’t pester him that much about his activities with Ruby that much anymore, he knew Dean pissed about what he was in the dark, but he didn’t bother him about it unless Cas told him too. Dean didn’t really question when Sam went out, well he did, but held his tongue until Cas left. He was glad Dean gave him legroom and some freedom now, but it's gotten to the point Sam almost feels he's been replace by Cas now, that Dean has no reason to care about Sam. He knew he couldn’t make Dean happy like Cas does, but he misses the “Bitches” and “Jerks” that have been stop saying to each other awhile ago. This changed when Dean got back from Hell, his devil may care attitude turned into concern moping mess, but he was tortured for about 40 years?

Cas is pushing me and Dean to split, we are standing on the ledge of deserting each other and I blame Castiel. Cas is taking my big brother away, he came in and made it look like I was a bad person. That I’m not good enough to be in Dean’s life anymore, thinking that I’m something disgusting with his side-eye glances at me. He’s turning Dean against me, Dean thought things were fine before Cas went and said I was keeping things from him. The minute Dean tells me what truly happened in Hell I’ll tell him what is really going on, until then I’m not the bad guy. Castiel is.

Sam said to himself grudgingly at them, but he noticed the stars that were lit up in Dean’s eyes as Castiel spoke to him with great enthusiasm. Sam was different too, he had gone against Dean’s dying wishes, to not use his powers. He knows Dean knows, maybe he’s blaming Cas because Cas was a bandaid on Dean and his broken relationship. He’s been blaming Cas because he can’t seem to blame himself yet.

He’s happy for Dean, doesn’t mean he isn’t jealous or that he didn’t want the old Dean back.

* * *

Sam was reading up on a possible seal when Dean took the book out of his hands, having Dean recieve a classic bitch face from Sam.

“Oh come on, lets go!” Dean exclaimed putting the book down and fetched his keys from the table.

“Case?” Sam asked, stretching and getting up. Dean smiled and walked out the door, Sam followed with confusion. Dean just smirked to himself and got into the car, Sam got in wondering what it was. 10, 20 minutes later. “Dean where the are we going?”

“You’ll see in a couple minutes, you’ll thank me dude.” Dean smiled, very pleased with himself.

“Ah come on Dean! I don’t want to go to a strip club or a whore house.” Sam whined that gained a glared from Dean, who was making a turn off on to a dirt back road of all farmland.

“Sorry Sam to disappoint but not today, we got other things at hand.”

“Like the seals?”

“Yes, but not that.”

“Then what?” Sam asked as Dean stopped in a middle of a field, Bobby was parked there as well. Sam got out of the car greeting Bobby. “You know what’s going on?”

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it,” Bobby replied as Dean got out with a plaid leash and a collar.

“Um Dean, what’s that? Maybe you should leave your sex toys in the car, you think.” Sam huffed gaining a sideways glare by Dean as he passed by him to Bobby’s car. Reaching into the backseat and picking up something, Sam couldn’t make it out. Dean put the leash on it and brought it out, bringing it to Sam who was in shock. “Is that what I think is?”

“Yep, a golden fur ball. Bobby said you might rather want a American Foxhound because- why again Bobby?”

“Because they are fast and good huntin’ dogs, but Dean hear swore on his life you rather have a Golden Retriever. It’s also a good huntin’ dog, but for small-game though, it’s done growing that is.” Bobby replied with Dean handing the leash over to Sam. “It’s a mixed mutt though, she’s a real sweet-heart though, has taken a liking to Dean. Surprised your brother even wanted to get it because of his hate for dogs.”

“I don’t hate dogs,” Dean replied coldly.

“I thought you hated dogs as well,” Sam added petting the fluffy gold and brown ball, trying to figure out her other mix.

“Hey, I may have a _tendency_ to start running when I see a large dog out of nowhere… But that doesn’t mean I hate them, I’m just precautious now. Getting ripped to shreds by a hellhound does that to a person.” Dean replied with a flat tone, not reading into much. “Anyway she’s also an Australian Shepherd if that’s why you are examining it like a piece of art.”

“Thank you Dean, Bobby, this is very- awesome. But why?” Sam asked, Bobby looked at Dean to answer.

“Well I’ve noticed.”

“Noticed what?”

“That you are jealous, and you’re acting like a bitch around Cas. You’re being envious towards him. Hey I get, envy is in my personality. I’m not really engaging as I used to with you, since me and Cas started dating I’ve been in my own kinda world, and that isn’t being fair to you. Since I’ve known you wanted a dog since we were kids, I figured you would want someone fun around like her.” Bending down to pet her, she rolled onto her back allowing access to rub her tummy. “I’m not replacing you Sammy, you know I wouldn’t even dream of it.” When he came back up Dean found himself holding a giant overgrown man hugging him. Sam wrapped around Dean like a koala bear, making Dean’s knees feel weak from the weight on him.

“Okay, Okay! It was adorable when you were 5 and 150 pounds lighter.” Dean huffed, Sam let go and picked up the pup into his arm.

“What are you naming it?” Dean asked. “I was gonna call it dog.”

“That is accurate, but I think Buffy is better.”

“Buffy? Like Vampire Slayer Buffy?”

“Yeah,” Sam said with a giant smile and puppy eyes. “Why?”

“Nothing, just that you are such a nerd. So you riding with Bobby?”

“Why can't I go back with you, you going to meet up with Cas or something?”

“Actually I knew you were going to say that, but no I’m not. The dog-”

“Buffy.”

“Buffy, isn't spayed or potty trained yet.” 

“So?”

“Really Sammy, I’m not letting any dog in my car and I’m letting her after she’s trained and spayed. I don’t want the damn thing going thru heat one day in my car which will probably happen. And I know you suck at cleaning, if she pissed it would be left to me to clean it.” Dean went on about how his car is much more important, and it’s not a toy, shit like that made Sam just roll his eyes. It brought out a spark of old Dean, the one Sam could remember before Dean went to hell.


	3. Old Dog, New Tricks

“Hello Dean,” Cas said on top of Dean who was asleep, Dean looked up with sleepy eyes meeting the bright blue ones. Suddenly jumped in shock.

“Dammit Cas! How did dating give an okay on invading personal space?” Dean said with a fake grumpy mood. Cas looked down confused, kissing Dean’s cheek.

“I’ve been closer Dean… I had my fingers in-”

“Yes I get it, I mean staring at me while I sleep… It’s just creepy man. Personal space is always flexible in the right time, like extreme make out- _Or sex even_.” Dean pouted, queuing Cas to move so he could get up.

“Dean I told you, I’m not ready. If I will be, I’m already casting blasphemy for seeing a human… My superiors don’t even know, I think. If they knew they’d-” Cas was cut off by Dean kissing him.

“Cas don’t think about that okay? See sex is personal space to you, and staring at me as I sleep is mine. Have we reached an understanding now?” Dean asked, still quite tired and curious why Cas is even here, it had to do with “God’s plan” most like.

“Dean you don’t have to talk slowly, I’m not a youngling nor stupid.” Cas said staring at Dean who almost fell asleep. “You look most at peace when you are asleep, for some nights at least, it’s horrible when you have nightmares… I help you cast your dreams into good ones for most nights since Hell. But I can’t do all… Heaven is very demanding on my time, although I wish I could spend most of it with you.” Cas blabbered about how he wants to be with Dean 24/7 but can’t because what they're already doing is wrong and is causing suspension already. Dean fell asleep again. “Dean, you have the most beautiful features ever seen… You should have a greek statue of you, or a great painting, or even-”

“ _Cas_.” Dean mumbled opening his eye to glare at the clock, " _4 in the morning_."

“Your freckles are so carefully dusted across your body, your well loved by heaven.” Cas said with such awe, caressing Dean’s chin and jaw. Playing with his hair… It was comforting, but Dean let out a disbelief hum at ‘well loved by heaven’ part. “You are, I heard there angel kisses to most human cultures… Anna?” Cas gritted but ignoring it quickly. “You are so gorgeous Dean, a god of beauty and charm, even your soul is-”

“Cas. Shut up.” Dean grumbled, but also appreciative of Cas’ compliments, although he assumed lies.

“Make me Dean,” Cas said eyeing him about to go on another list how beautiful Dean is. Dean grabbed him and turned them around, Dean on top of him nuzzling his neck.

“I have ways to make you shut up Cas,” he said before shoving his tongue down Cas’ throat, who was more than happy to take. Loud slurping noises filled the hotel room, they let out soft moans, heavy petting. While under the midst of the covers and something jumped onto Dean’s back in a bad spot, making him bite down, lucky he couldn’t of hurt Cas or else he could’ve bitten off his tongue. Dean found it to be Buffy, he growled her, and she growled back. From the other bed Sam was looking at them pissed who had turned the light on.

“Really Guys? I’m right next to you!” Sam said giving the bitch face number 7.

“I was discussing possible seals,” Cas said from under Dean, with his lips swollen red from Dean’s kisses.

“ _Right_ ,” Sam said sarcastic, whistling Buffy jumped up next to him. “Good girl, making sure Dean keeps it in his pants when I’m around.” He said petting her.

“Hey! I’m not like a sex addict or something Sam!” Dean barked at him, and Buffy barked at him. “I swear to god Sam, if you don’t make sure your dog keeps it together. I’m going to get a hell hound, somehow train it, name it Spike and have it kill you bitch.” Dean grumbled because of the lack of interaction between him and Cas was gone. Cas was gone. Sam laughed at him and turned out the light.

* * *

Later Dean was lacing up his boots, when Sam’s dog bit his leg. He pulled out an unloaded gun and pointed it at her. “You bitch!” She stood on her hind legs then howled then fell over. Dean blinked a couple times then she rolled around on the floor, like she was reenacting Stiller’s scene from Tropic Thunder, over dramatic, over the top dying, that made it hilarious. Then finally she laid still. “Hey Sam, your dog died!” Dean yelled to Sam who was in the shower, he heard Sam slip. Sam ran out in a towel, shampoo bubbles covered him.

“What!? Buffy! What?” Sam was freaking out, she jumped up and yapped at Dean to point the gun at her. Dean did pretended to shoot her, but this time she howled longer on her legs and swayed back and forth, then fall onto the ground howling and rolling around. Sam was into much shock from Dean yelling at him, when Sam was in the shower. He punched Dean in the shoulder and stormed back into the shower. Buffy yipped at Sam’s feet as he passed, for not appreciating her acting skills. Dean looked in his duffle to find something he didn’t want to see.

Sam got out of the shower Dean had a shirt in his hand, and he was glaring at Sam.

“What?”

“What!? Your bitch, chewed through my favorite Floyd shirt.” Dean was yelling at the stupid shirt, Sam didn’t care.

“It looked bad on you anyway, isn’t that right Buffy?” He asked petting her, Dean stormed up to him, punching him where Sam had hit him earlier. “Dean it’s not too bad… sorry.”

“She’s staying at Bobby’s for now on. For the better too, you’d cry for hours if some monster ate her.” Sam gave big puppy eyes, saying ‘please, no I wanna her to stay with me.’ But Dean wasn’t having any of that, he wasn’t going to fail this one. Dean stormed out the door with their duffels, honking at Sam to do the same. Sam was sad the car ride back, with Buffy in the back sleeping. Sam knew having a dog with them was going to short last, it was nice though… At least he wasn’t getting rid of her, just taking her somewhere he can see her often and with someone he trusts. Besides he’s sure Bobby misses a dog around since Meg killed his hound.

Buffy liked Dean, more than Sam even, maybe she’ll like him more if he takes down by the river for a walk.

* * *

He throws the ball far, she runs after it like it was bacon. She could get it in seconds, ears flapping; she’s a fit, healthy, happy, fierce dog. She came trotting back with a familiar face, cowering behind Sam, growling at the woman. “So Sam, Dean let you finally get a mutt?” Ruby asked, Buffy growled at her more, taking pose of an attack. She was very smart, she acted almost human, but Sam thought this was weird. Maybe can sense Ruby is a demon, animal EMF he supposed. “It’s okay Buffy, she’s one of the good ones.” It didn’t help Buffy kept barking at her. “Well… Um actually he got her for me.”

“Makes sense why she hates me,” She joked.

“I think Dean got her for me, because he feels guilty…”

“Dean feels guilty about something? That’s new,” Ruby sassed.

“He said I was being an asshole to his boyfriend, that I’m jealous that he’s been spending more with Dean, then Dean is with me.”

“Are you jealous?” Ruby asked.

“No… Okay yeah I guess I am, and I wasn’t subtle about it either. It’s always been me and Dean, and now Cas is in the picture… I’m happy for him, don’t get me wrong, I am. I was the one who pushed him to ask Cas out… But now I just feel-”

“Replaced?”

“Exactly. And they’re not subtle about what they do, he says they’ve never had sex and it’s strict heavy petting because Cas isn’t even suppose to have relationships with humans in God’s book of rules. And sex sends a red flag to the man upstairs I guess… I guess Cas can be tortured and killed him they become noticed by heaven. Which surprises me they haven't, because they make out all the time. They’re like lusty teens, and one carries a chastity ring. And Dean is head over heels for him, I’ve never seen him so strung out over someone before… He carries Cas on his back, they cuddle watch movies, it’s like swallowing a bottle of syrup because they act sweet and chick flicky. It’s like they’re teens with their first love.”

“That is so cute, it’s disgusting, I think my teeth are rotting out. like isn’t the first time they’ve fallen in love Sam, like ever? Dean, you got 'I sleep with anything with two legs if I’m drunk enough. I don’t have time for love.' Then Angel face, 'I doesn’t know emotions, only obedience.' Of course they’ll act like teens, it’s puppy love, honeymoon stage.”

“Yeah… They act like soap opera cutesy couples, like Dean has already talked about what he wants to get Cas for Valentine’s Day.”

“WOW, that bad? No wonder why he got you the dog.”

“She’s good company, she’s quite the actress and hunter… it’s adorable and funny.”

“Aren’t I good company Sam?”

“ _Yeah you are_ , but you know Dean doesn’t like you… because of the- Demon thing?”

“What a racist! Like angels, he thinks he’s so noble and righteous, but really just ten times the dick. Fine I don’t like him either, I haven’t liked him since our one ni- since he called me a lying bitch.”

“Sorry… But you need something?” Sam asked.

“No, but you do. New shipment duh?” She said cutting her arm and having him drink her.

* * *

Sam got back, plopping onto the couch next to Dean. “Let’s go see a movie after the hunt.”

“Sure…? What do you wanna see?” Dean asked confused at his brother hyper happy next to him.

“Anything.”

“I don't know? Dark Knight.” Dean asked still eyeing Sam.

“Sounds great!”

“You hate those movies though, Joker scares you. What’s going- who are you?”

“Yeah, but I just realized we actually haven't done anything fun since you got back. So I’m letting you pick out the movie.”

“I mean that chick from Oktoberfest was fun."

" _Dean_."

"Okay… You’re acting weird-er, more than usual. Are you on some drugs? Whatever it is, it's not making you such a sour face like usual.” Dean said.

“No Dean, I’m not stoned or something like that. I don’t do drugs like you.”

“I use it _occasionally_.”

“Weed is a gateway drug Dean…”

“Right, and Sarah Palin is president” Dean said slapping Sam’s shoulder, getting up to get a beer.


	4. Sex and Violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Non consent, Siren, starts in the very begging.  
> Mentions: Past non consent.

He felt Nick go deeper into him, he let out a moan that could make angels fall. “ _Love me, love and worship me._ ” Nick said as he rolled his hips, Dean sucked in a sharp breath. “ _More. Love me_.” He jammed his tongue down Dean’s throat, the blasting music in the car surrounding his moans only sound like echoes over the pleasure. _Rock You Like A Hurricane_ Dean felt so much pleasure, he lacked it of late.

Dean’s lower back arched in way Nick went deeper and deeper in him, hitting his prostate almost every single time. Tears streaming down Dean’s face as thrusted harder and faster into Dean, and Dean loved him, he didn’t know why, or when it started. Dean tried desperately to remember what he was doing. Where? When? Why? Why is he doing this? How is he doing this?  “I do-AH! I love you…” Dean whined clawing at the back seat.

“ _I don’t think I heard you,_ ” Nick teased holding Dean so tight that made Dean almost groan in agony.

“ _I love you. I’m yours- Love you! Please I need you, I want you. Perfect_.” Dean moaned between breaths.

“ **Good.** ”

* * *

Sam walked into the motel room seeing the fed that Dean was with. “Nick?” Before he can really do anything, the door slammed behind him, Dean had a knife to his throat.

“You're the siren… Well you are one but ugly stripper,” Sam said trying to not get cut as the siren smiled.

“Maybe, but I got what I wanted. I got Dean.” Nick said before adding to Dean “Cut em’ just a little,” he cooed at Dean, with that Sam’s throat.

“What did you do to him?” Sam winced.

“Gave him what he needed… and it wasn’t some bitch in a g-string.”

“Then what then huh?”

“It was you,” Nick smiled getting Sam’s face holding the flower. “A little brother who looked up to him. Who he can trust. Now he loves me.” Nick said as Dean cut Sam throat a little deeper. “That kinda love and devotion. Watching someone kill for you? Is the best feeling in the world.”

“Is that why you are slutting all over town?”

“I get bored. I wanna fall in love again. Again… and again.”

“How’d do it huh? Dean I know wouldn’t cheat on Cas.”

“Well… I have that effect one my targets,” he smiled remembering the trap Dean walked into so willingly.

* * *

Hunters rolled into town, The Siren was not going to be killed by denim wearing freaks. Watching them at the club when he left with Lenny as Bell, to which the siren added, all Disney Princess. Listening to the hunters question the club owner… He invested with Lenny tonight then deal with these two tomorrow, but keep an ear of their plans.

After Lenny offed his mother, leaving quickly to destroy the perks’ blood samples, which oddly enough made it accessible easy that the party doctor didn’t lock her doors. Admiring her flowers that were thoughts of home, of course would derail the boys off their track on him if they follow their theory. When Sam and Dean came to the office the next day, he was ready. The shorter, more pretty looking one, was drawn to the siren immediately… easy. Dean became his target the moment Nick laid eyes on him, his brother sending them off to be alone with him made this whole situation a piece of cake. Knowing everything Dean needed and wanted, he was perfect, Nick is always perfect.

The missing blood, the flowers… The flowers set Dean off, he was smarter than than he knew people gave Dean credit for. Showing him the flowers, the hunter so close to the predator and went the way the Siren attended. Separating the boys completely.

When Dean called him to hunt with him, it drove excitement up his spine. Hoping for a two for one kill, Sam and Cara. When the winchester slid into his car discussed what was going on without trying to sound weird if he were talking to a normal human being. Not saying anything about the siren, just that Cara was drugging guys into killing.

“You gotta trust me on this,” Dean said pulling out a flask.

“Yeah...Okay. I guess.”

“Thank you. That’s actually nice to hear.” Dean said taking a sip, looking over to Nick, handing it to him. The siren made sure to back wash before handing it back to Dean. Watching Dean drink was such a wave of excitement, knowing Dean will be his and his alone.

“Let’s say she is drugging them… How is she pulling that off?”

“Well she could be injecting them from you know physical contact.”

“Or saliva?”

Dean face changing from calm to shock at the realization.

“You really should’ve wiped the lip of that thing,” Nick smiled at Dean stunned. “I should be your little brother.” Dean face towards him like he was fighting a battle inside his mind. “Sam? You can’t trust him. Not like you can trust me…” He allured Dean pulling Dean into a kiss. “Or a lover.” He loved watching Dean fight himself trying to pull away, but unable to for the poison was kicking in. Watching the force and pain on Dean’s face, it was a mix of fear and want. What was taking over Dean’s body made him want, but what hasn’t wanted to pull away and not be held against his will. Nick leaned in again taking Dean’s mouth, adjusting them as quickly as possible that Dean was lying back wanting more. “In fact,” Nick started as started peel away Dean’s clothes. “I really feel like you should get him out of the way. So we can be brothers or whatever you want us to be… Forever.” Dean still stunned at this, feeling his complete vulnerability nude and wanting.

“Yeah,” Dean said pulling Nick down on top of him. “Yeah you’re right.”

* * *

Nick grabbed Sam’s jaw and licked his tongue, asking Dean to let go. watching Sam also fall for him, he didn’t get the dumb jock hunter to kill innocent Cara on accident... but 2 for 1 dead on hunters is a much better deal.

“Well you two have a lot on your chests, I’ll just wait here as you talk it out. Whoever survives can be with me forever.” Nick taunted holding his flower smelling it and sitting down on the bed. Dean started by calling out the mistrust and going behind his back with Ruby. How Dean can’t tell if he changed when Dean was in Hell or when he was right in front of Dean. Sam follows with how weak and sad and pathetic Dean is. “You’re only good for slutting around, I mean does Cas even really care about you? You are weak, and you hold me back… All the souls you tortured in Hell, boohoo.” Sam mocked as Dean tries to throw the knife at him, missing Sam takes leap at Dean punching him merciless. Dean twists Sam’s wrist, getting the upper hand, punching each other back and forth until Dean is taken off his feet falling through the furniture. Sam picking him up and pinning him against the door, continuing to punch Dean. “You are not standing in my way in anymore!” Dean was able to get away ready to lunge at Sam, taking them both through the door into the hallway. Nick watching close and eagerly. Dean getting up noticing the fire escape hatchet, breaking the glass, watching sam look up from the ground. Rage roared through Dean, like molten rocks in his core.

“ _Do it Dean_ ,” Nick hummed in his ear edging him over. “ _Do it for me_.”

“Tell me again how weak I am, Sam.” Dean said tiredly. “ **HOW I HOLD YOU BACK!?”** Dean yelled lifting the hatchet about to end Sam’s life. Bobby seems to appear from nowhere stabbing Dean’s shoulder with a gold dagger, as Nick went running down the hall. Sam screaming to not hurt Nick as Bobby threw the blade in Nick’s back… killing The Siren.

The spell wore off with Dean nursing his shoulder looking to Sam, who looked back almost ashamed of themselves. Knowing what they did, and knew they won’t say anything about it.

Next morning Bobby gave them bottles of soda, applying no drinking and driving.

“Thanks Bobby if you didn’t show up when you did-”

“Done the same for me, more than once.” Bobby said adding “Of course, you could have picked up a phone. It only took one call to figure out that Agent Nick Munroe wasn’t a real.” Dean took another drink of soda, looking down. He felt so much shame about everything that happened, what he did to Sam, what he’ll have to tell Cas. It was depressing even that Dean is think Nick was perfect, but that was the trap. Bobby looking to Dean. “You boys going to be okay?”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Yeah, good.”

Bobby starts walking back to his car, looks back at the mopey two, especially gloomy Dean. “You know those Sirens are nasty things. That it got to you- That’s no reason to feel bad.” With that Bobby was gone, in a moment of silence.

“You going to say goodbye to Cara?”

“Nah, not interested.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t see the point.”

“Look at you, love em’ than you leave em.”

“Dean, you know it wasn’t me who was talking back there. That was the Siren song.”

“Yeah me two,” Dean replied. He knew they were both lying, he knew he was telling the truth back there so Sam must’ve said what he thinks. It’s not the first time has said that to Dean, the time in the old Roosevelt Asylum case a long time ago.

“So we’re good?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean said getting in the Impala. Taking a moment, before starting the car, driving in silence. It felt like hours of not talking, Dean didn’t even have the music on.

“Dean are you sure we’re good?” Sam asked finally.

“Dammit, yeah.”

“Then what’s your problem?”

“Cas,” Dean solemnly. “It’s nothing.”

“Wait did you and Nick really have sex?” Sam asked Dean who clenched his jaw.

“I didn’t want to- You know what? Let’s not talk about this,” Dean said turning the radio on.

“You didn’t cheat on Cas if that’s what’s worrying you.” Sam said flipping the radio off. Trying to tell Dean it wasn’t his fault. No response. “Dean, he _infected_ you. It’s not your fault-”

“Isn’t it though?” Dean slammed the steering wheel. “I wanted it! I must have if I got in that situation."

“What?” Sam looked at him. “Dean?"

“I didn’t know, I thought I could control myself. I don’t know.”

“Dean, Cas is going to be pissed. Only if you honestly believe that it's your fault."

“Yeah looks like.” Dean said.

“You shouldn't think like that, especially since what happened when you were 14." Sam said quietly.

“Shut the hell up, _**DON’T EVER BRING THAT UP**_.”

“I mean you didn’t like made the first move.”

“It happened, so yeah I must’ve started.” Dean said remembering how stupid it was sharing that flask. “I shared a flask.”

“Shared a flask?” Sam asked wide eyes. “Really? Dude I thought you like made out with the guy.”

“No I did after I got infected-”

“Then why is it a big deal? You heard Bobby they are tricky bastards.”

“Really?” Dean took a breath. “So are you telling me I didn’t want any of that? Well that’s comforting, I wish I could honestly think that.”

“Seriously Dean? It injected you with poison, made you want whatever that thing wanted. You didn’t cheat-”

“Then why do I feel like I did? Huh?”

“It didn’t count,” Sam said turning away to look out the window. Dean didn’t reply, he didn’t want to, he didn’t even wanted to talk about it in the first place. “You can’t keep stuff like that inside. It will destroy you, some day you’re going to have deal with it… And what happened in the past.”


	5. Pressure Point

“Dean are you okay?” Cas asked appearing behind him as he gave an oil change.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be.” Dean gave a huge fake smile. “I mean besides end of our days coming- I’m fine.”

“That doesn’t seem like a reason to be fine,” Cas squinted. “Is there anything physically hurting?”

“No- Well,” Dean smirked closing the hood. “Eventually if it isn’t fixed, it will hurt,” he winked. Cas looked confused, glaring at him to figure out what he means. “Are you fucking kidding me Dean?” Cas rolled his eyes, turning on his heels towards the house. Dean chasing after him, “Come on. It was funny!” He smiled.

“We have better use of our time Dean. Is there anything you can do other than run your mouth?” Dean turned him by his waist pulling him in, both on the porch. “Oh, there’s a lot more I can do with my mouth… Wanna find out?”

“Like solutions to this Rising?” Cas pouted as Dean kissed his temple, then his ear, nose, cheek, jaw, and neck. Cas being soilder easily loses his feeting when it comes to Dean, falling into the blue pailing of Bobby’s house. Wrapping his arms around his neck, as Dean slid his arms tight around his waist. Kissing was a non stop thing, every moment, every spare-or wasted time procrastinating by lip locks. “I wish I could have this all the time-” Dean slid his hand lower on him. “I could make my own chooses-” This Dean pulled away.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked concerned that Cas could be not in control and he was playing him.

“It’s not what you think!” Cas tried to pull Dean back but refused. “I meant by I could have all free will, give you intercourse. I know that you're bored with this, and you blame yourself for what happened because I’m not giving in. I wish I could. I want to!”

“You want to have sex- Dammit Cas have you popping into my mind?”

“No!”

“Then how did you know?” Dean glared, Cas reached his hand and put it on his shoulder. “Oh,” Dean looked away, Cas tilting his chin towards him. Dean leaned down to kiss but Sam opened the screen door with dog running out, Sam rolled his eyes and continued to walk out to the junkyard. “You know guys, I’m not in the house and Bobby is somewhere, if you want to you know.”

“Don’t worry Sam, we wouldn’t care if you were there or not.” Cas smiled, pulling Dean inside, floping him down onto the couch. “Oh you don’t care huh?” Dean smirked up at the angel who shrugged the coat off. “So tell me again how you want sex?”

“There’s a difference between want and need…”

“But baby I’m needy.”

“And I’m horny, but we both know we have self control.”

“God it’s like dating a cheerleader with a purity ring- except hotter and more pissed off all the time. Maybe a little bit of good ol’ fun will shake you up?”

“That does indeed sound entertaining-”

“But Heaven is super crappy, I get it. I hope when this is all over maybe they can change their rules a bit.”

“I doubt it, but as do I. We should discuss the seals.”

“Yeah,” Dean said leaning up and grabbing some lore book.

“Now?’ Cas asked.

“Well I don’t see a better idea.”

* * *

“Buffy!” Sam yelled out into the junkyard at Bobby’s, giving Dean and Cas personal space. “Come here girl!” Moments pass without even a bark, he decides to step off the porch and call for her again. Looking through the junkyard Ruby was kneeling petting his dog. “Oh there you are,” Sam said.

“ _Oh thanks Sam, good to see you too._ ”

“I was talking about you, I’ve been calling. Ruby-”

“Lilith, I know. Give me more time,” Ruby said patiently.

“When?” Sam growled.

“You hungry?” She said sliding her knife out of her boot.

“Ruby…” Sam warned grabbing her by force. “You have to stop ignoring me and leaving me dry.”

“Look I’m sorry! I guess one of us actually wants Lilith dead.”

“I want her dead now.”

“Well your angel friends aren’t doing much. Why not pester Dean’s mouth warmer, I’m sure he’s keeping something secret. Ask them why are they wasting time on kiss when they could be doing something.”

“You know you’re right,” Sam gritted realizing if Cas is only around when it’s too late or not doing something. “Give me it,” Sam growled. She opened a vein as he sucked.

“You’ll be ready soon,” she said petting his head.

* * *

Sam stormed in demanding to see Cas, pushing Dean aside screaming at Cas.

“I’d be careful if I were Sam, heaven is not keen on you. The only reason you are alive is because Dean’s worth outweighs your failure.”

“Yeah Dean’s worth? You mean his dick right? You clearly spend more time with it than actually doing something about Lilith and the seals.”

“I don’t make the orders, they send me where they send me when it comes to the seals.”

“Then is order to be here? Use Dean? I mean he’s so fucking stupid he can’t see past that they are using you to get to Dean. I mean get you close to him, get your trust. I’m right?” Sam demanded but Cas looked away, and Dean felt his heart drop. “Why not get off your ass and do something Cas.”

“I have orders, doesn’t mean I haven’t been helping.”

“With what?” Sam asked, Cas stood up getting into his face.

“I’m the one vouching for them not to exterminate your existence, as well as your girlfriend.”

“What?”

“Uriel has wanted to rip your limbs apart since we became aware of your unnatural actions. As his superior I denied such actions… You should show me some respect.” Cas said coldly, as a storm appeared. House rocked, lightning, and pages flying. Then disappeared.

“What the fuck Sam!” Dean yelled at him, storming out of the room. Sam charging after him. “Why did you fucking do that? We were actually researching, not much you can do when you are dating a cheerleader with a purity ring.”

“What?” Sam asked confused.

“Nothing. I don’t get it Sam, why did you do that?”

“I need to find Lilith, stop the seals.”

“You mean the angels do.”

“Yeah except their lazy and sloppy.”

“It’s not your place Sam!”

“Oh right because you are some raised precious little human that’s going to save the world. You? You’re the one to stop Lilith?”

“Maybe? Huh why do you care how the world gets saved. What you want some internal glory, go ahead Sam! I really don’t care some angels think I’m special- because hell we both know I ain’t. Hell I guess I’m just holding you back.”

“Dean I didn’t mean it-”

“Oh of course not, because it’s not like it was true or anything.” Dean walked closer to Sam. “Because why else would you flip out at the one person in my life who is actually doing something to make feel whole again.”

“I think you feel indebt to him, that’s what I think.”

“Why?”

“He saved you from Hell, rebuilt you and knows everything about you and you know nothing about him. Seems odd.”

“He really doesn’t have much, besides fighting battles and talking about the creation of the world. I don’t feel indebt with him, I feel like someone actually cares and doesn’t think I’m stupid.”

“You’re not though.”

“Really you said that like 5 fucking minutes ago I was!”

“I was angry because he wasn’t doing anything besides hang out with you.”

“We were looking at possible one’s so when in the future they show up we know a plan already. And it’s not the name calling, the moping around, the nagging. You and Dad have treated me like I’m an idiot who doesn’t know how to do anything right. News flash Sam! I’m not the one using demonic powers!” Sam threw a punch at Dean’s face, who just glared back at Sam.

“What are you saying?” Sam glared.

“I’m saying that before you start judging me or Cas, you better self evaluate. What you are doing isn’t normal.”

“Really Dean? I’m judging? What about your constant paranoia I’m with Ruby?”

“What you are doing, God doesn’t want it.” Dean said calmly walking away as Bobby came in demanding what happened to his house. “Nothing Bobby,” Dean hissed as he say his eye swollen. Bobby looked at Sam who had a face that he wanted to attack Dean. “I’m going for beer.”

“I just got beer,” Bobby said, Dean gave him a look. “I suppose we could use more. Take your time.”

“I will,” Dean slammed the door behind. Sam and Bobby gave a long look as loud roar from the car sped off.

* * *

Dean pulled into the bar and diner, get some greasy fat food and some beer. A woman sits down next to him, he knew who she was slowly pulled out the knife. “Are you planning to give that back?”

“What do you want bitch?”

“World peace?”

“Right, and I want _Adolf Hitler as president_.” A waiter looked at him shocked but quickly looked away.

“Listen smart ass, let’s talk.”

“We’re talking…”

“As much as I hate you and you hate me, we are strategists and make good plans.”

“So? If you are asking me to help you on Sam’s Children Crusade to stop Lilith, then look somewhere else Ruby.”

“Sam needs to be ready.”

“Right you said that **_BEFORE_** I died. Saying he needs to be ready for when I’m gone, well he’s pretty fucked up. I’m sure it’s your fault.”

“Or your death.”

“No, he was acting weird since the first time he met you and kept you as a secret.”

“Let’s not forget who fixed that gun.”

“The bitch wanted to sacrifice innocent people.”

“You’re the one who didn’t listen to me, and ALL of them died.”

“Let’s not forget who tricked me into thinking you could act human.”

“ _You enjoyed it_.”

“It was mediocre.”

“Maybe on your end.”

“I didn’t apparate your ‘style’.”

“I thought you liked being submissive,” She didn’t bat an eye. Dean felt like stabbing her so much, either that or himself. He asked for another round.

“Why are you here?” Dean asked annoyed.

“Like I said it’s about Sam.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t told him yet,” Dean made a face.

“Why haven’t you?”

“I don’t kiss and tell sweetheart.”

“Or because you'd be a hypocrite? Stooping low enough to sleep with a demon.”

“Again why are you here?”

“Look I get you are high strung with your angel pals-”

“I’m not.”

“-Then to look at the facts, some demons don’t want Lilith winning okay? If she does it’s over for all of us.”

“Right you got Sam on this timeshare, and I don’t know what two are doing- nor do I really care. It doesn’t really look like you two are making much process either.”

“Look kid-”

“Don’t look kid me, got it. I don’t need any of this bullshit,” Dean stood up flopping cash down. “I get it, Sam is your antichrist superstar, just leave me out of it.” He walked out driving back to Bobby’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N/A: I'm insane but I'm trying to make almost every ship happen some way, some good ways others bad (please don't hate me if there's a ship you like and it's portrayed bad vibe- It's that I don't hate the ship, it's how I write :C )


End file.
